Friday’s issue was preempted by Rainbow Six and the new season of Battlestar Galactica.
The truth is that The Shill really is a complete and utter shill. For those who don’t know what a shill is, here’s a quick synopsis. A shill is a member of a con who acts like an uninvolved party to help sell or add credence to the con in the presence of the mark being conned. He could be a guy at a bar vouching for a story the principal in the con is telling the mark, or he could be your boss who tries to help sell the story that corporate office is trying to sell which is actually complete bullshit. Case in point, I had a bit of a payroll issue in which I was making one amount of money for a year and a half and then suddenly informed I was going to be having a 10% reduction because of a “clerical error”. After much arguing and fussing The Shill tried to convince me he was my cheerleader…then he spent 3 weeks avoiding me. He came back with an offer, in which I kept explaining that there was no offer, it was fix or quit. He tried to tell me this was the best offer I could expect, I reiterated by mantra of fix or quit, In the end I won the battle but it was a long fight, and at each stage The Shill kept trying to insist I could expect and more, I was making too much money to begin with so it wasn’t a cut in pay but putting me at what I SHOULD be making, that I should take it personally. He was trying to shill the story that corporate office fed him.
The truth is that Shitpants McPooperton never actually shit his pants that I can prove. The smells and noises and the frequent runs (as in him literally running to the bathroom) precludes that at some point he has shit himself, and probably at work. Shitpants had a routine that was unbreakable. First off, Mr. McPooperton would show up at least 20 minutes late every day, and then after almost exactly 20 minutes of being in the office would have to go. He would get up, grunt and strain and mumble “gotta go take a shit”. After that, he would go to the bathroom for whatever was left inside him every hour on the hour. He was much older than anyone else in Cubeville, but all of his stories were of a time that happened before I was likely even born. He was a drummer, which he pointed out any chance he got, and supposedly toured with a very respected regional band, opening regionally for bands such as Lynard Skynard and AC/DC. There was, however, no proof beyond his stories that they were more than a shabby bar band. As was discussed in The Gimp’s set, he was a horrible employee who was a terrible support person, a liar, lazy, and of course…full of shit.
The truth is that The JC is not Jesus Christ. He is the smartest man in the Cubes, which is why he’s now the lead for the
The truth is Stalker Bait has not managed to earn herself any stalkers. Tweedle Dee has gone from leaning over her cubicle with amorous looks in his eyes to ignoring her completely. The Sith Lord is passively wooing her with uncomfortable innuendo and non committal passes at her which she seems to shrug off with great ease.
The truth is, these are pretty much just filler and next issue will be a real story and not just the blogger equivalent of a flashback episode. The truth is, the last week has been so busy that no one has really done anything worth mentioning. The same people whine about the same stuff, and everyone is acting exactly as they always have but no more interesting than usual. Such is life…
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