Prarie Dogging

Cubers have a lot in common with prairie dogs. They're both very social animals, with a strict pecking order, and have an established warning system to alert others of danger. The biggest similarity is their tendency to pop up from their holes to survey what is going on around them. If someone sounds like they're having fun or might be dispensing savory gossip, a Cuber or two will pop their heads up above their divider and try to poke in on the conversation. Some Cubers try to be discreet about their prairie dogging. Tweedle Dee for example tries to act like he's just standing up to stretch, like one more minute of having his ass plastered in his chair will make him explode in a fit or stagnant rage. He stands up, stretches his arms a bit, and "nonchalantly" stares around until he figures out where the talk is coming from. The bad thing is that this is the most graceful part of his participation. Once he actually tries to include himself in the conversation, he bumbles through it with awkward comments that have no bearing or make no sense, and eventually ends up killing the conversation.

Serial Killer on the other hand, doesn't even pretend. He stands up and leans over the edge of his cube, the dividers being only chest high, and surveys over the jungle like a lion looking over his pride. His creepy stares raze the cube landscape like lasers until he finds his target. Even if the conversation is happening rows away, he just stands there, staring, and listening, even commenting, shouting from a distance. This makes gossiping awkward because the person being bashed is usually within shouting distance as well.

Even when the conversation isn't gossip, it often seems to be isolated to small groups, usually no larger than three. It may not be secret, and it may not even be provocative, but they cling to it like a stingy kid being asked to share his candy. Sometimes it's simply because the person trying to play along is universally disliked, and who wants someone they hate crashing their party? Most of the time, it's just a matter of cliques being formed, and the rule of cliques is that you don't cross pollinate. Unless you're me, who is a member of no particular clique, and considered to be the Switzerland of the Call Center. Sadly, I have no finely crafted watches or knives. All I bring are my Nerf guns.

When Cubers are on alert, looking out for evil management like Napoleon and The Shill, they are vigilant, and even compassionate. They will warn any and all with a quick nodding glance in the direction of danger, an IM to warn who's in the building, or even jumping in front of the oncoming truck and making conversation with the enemy to raise awareness and buy time for those who need to scurry, scatter, or hide what they're doing. Napoleon is aptly named. He's short, has a bad temper, and constantly feels like he has to prove his superiority through meaningless displays of "power". He's at the bottom of the upper management chain, and rarely lowers himself below his station to deal with the peasants. The Shill on the other hand, who is at the top of the middle management pyramid, believes himself to be a man of the people, when in fact, he is nothing more than a corporate shill, sucking whatever company cock is placed in front of him. He thinks he has a good report with everyone, when we all secretly hate his guts. At least Napoleon provides us with some amusement through his minor skirmishes.

Yes, the Cubers are a lot like prairie dogs. Popping up like some sort of gossiping Whack-A-Mole, banding together in our little groups, even putting aside our differences to protect the family, runts and rejects alike. In fact, the Napoleonic Alert Network has just gone off, and I don't think this is a drill.