I had grand visions of the moment I would tell my boss and co-workers that I was quitting. I saw a scene in which I burst in on some kind of Dr. Strangelove scene where a great cabal was deciding the fate of mankind and I walked briskly, importantly up to the desk and slammed a carefully worded stack of papers that explained the incontrovertible reasons that justified my leaving and made it the only possible option. This slamming of papers would interrupt the thoughts and tirades of important, shadowy men who would look around, whispering to each other at the audacity of that bold man. There would be a long pause and then my boss, who would be played by Anthony Hopkins, would speak in his righteously important and sophisticated voice and say “How could you do this?” I would simply state “It’s the only option that makes sense” and I would march off, leaving these powerful to contemplate to world altering ramifications of my departure from the world scene.
The reality was that I walked in and told The JC that I needed to talk to him and he said he already knew I was quitting and to just email him a letter of resignation and that would be all he needed. The few things that have happened since then have also been so anti-climatic and even annoying that it’s almost comedic.
Stonehenge Mouth has been unrelenting in questions. He was excited about my vacation as it was, because he gets excited about such things, but then the news of my impending departure was giving him a warm fuzziness like that of your first kiss. He was quivering with excitement…which annoyed me because he was getting more good emotions out of my triumph than I was. The last couple days have been an unrelenting storm of questions about all the amazing possibilities of my new job that I’m almost annoyed that I’m leaving.
Serialkiller and Tweedle Dee have been the extreme opposite. They want speak to me at all. Now I can’t say that I’m terribly upset that I don’t have to hear their horrible mouth words tossed in my direction, I just don’t understand it. I’ve got no idea if they had put in for the same job that me and Sith Lord got and feel slighted that we got it and they didn’t. In the case of Tweedle Dee I get this feeling from him that in his case he feels betrayed or abandoned. It’s like I had made a promise back in our childhood where I promised I’d never leave him behind and then years later I’m doing exactly that. Only that never happened.
Most of the responses to my departure have been positive, with people wishing me the best of luck and a few genuine requests to keep in touch. Some of which I even intend to actually keep in touch with like Beardface and KliffyB. The only response that seemed to make absolutely no sense was that of The Shill’s. He caught me as he was leaving yesterday and told me that he was “seriously bummed” that I was leaving and to tell me that I was always welcome back if things didn’t work out. Today The Shill leaned over into my Cube to ask “So, have we managed to convince you to reconsider.” This was very confusing because it insinuated that they had made any counter offers or even discussed the possibility of getting me to stay. Which never happened.
When Alan Alda left the company he was given the “you’re always welcome back” speech but then had it rescinded when The Shill discovered that part of Alan Alda’s 2-week notice included a week in which he was on vacation. Which in his mind made it unacceptable and he actually had a meeting with Alan Alda to tell him he was not rehirable if he ever tried to come back. It didn’t really make any sense to me, but after my non-existent negotiations with The Shill, it just seems in character for him.
I have no doubt that the fun will continue up until the last minute.
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